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The Miracle of
Psycho-Command Power
Putting the rantings of Buckland aside, I turned my attention to The Miracle of Psycho-Command Power. This one seemed to take things a step further, making the art of Chant-o-matics look like grueling labor.  With Psycho-Command Power, if you want to rule the planet you don’t have to waste precious seconds burning incense and mumbling some gibberish—you just say the “Supreme Command” and all you wish for is –Presto – yours! I speak quite literally—author Scott Reed claims that if you want a new car, for example, you just say his “command” and a car will suddenly appear out of thin air. Well, out of bubbles, to be precise.  Take a look at this illustration:

I was taken aback the first time I came across this picture, wondering if Reed was being literal with his claims. Was he actually saying he could create a fucking 2,000 pound vehicle out of bubbles simply by saying a few words? It was hard to tell based on the crazy, haphazard writing. But I had to know. I flipped though the book, trying to find out exactly what he meant by “Psycho-command Power”, and how precisely this power went about creating steel out of bubbles.

The answer was difficult to pinpoint. Reed describes the Power in many colorful ways (a “Pocket Insta-Commander”, a “cosmic bank account”, an “Automatic Genius Maker”, a “a Psychic Window More Powerful than a Crystal Ball, and a “Speed-O-Matic Desire Bringer - More Powerful Than a Billion Atom Bombs!” ), SUDDENLY SWITCHING TO ALL CAPITAL LETTERS FOR NO REASON as he writes and then ending with a barrage of exclamation points!!!, but offers nothing that actually sheds any light onto what the fuck he’s talking about. In his chapter headlines he promises to help you “FIND MAILBOX BULGING WITH MONEY!” and show you “HOW TO MAKE OTHERS ‘LOVE SLAVES’ TO YOUR MAGNETIC ‘LOVE PULL”, but the actual text is just random craziness.

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