continued from previous page
Let's ponder for a moment the wisdom of such a response. If you simply take the drugs offered, you'll probably get high and feel good for a little bit. If you say "naw" and walk away, the worst you'll get is a snarled "Little bitch!" or something. No harm done. However, if you look down at the baggie curled up in the dealers hand, then look up, lock eyes and tell him "I want to be a hulkamaniac", you will likely be pounded into a bloody union of facial tissue and cement.

The Hulkster offers up plenty of other tips to the kiddies, too. The importance of friends, America, Harley Davidsons, and biceps are all stressed. In particular, the virtues of taking your vitamins is extolled on a number of occasions: "With the trainin' and the prayers and the vitamins too/Don't mess with us or we'll beat you too" he sings. Other, more oblique references to the results of taking these vitamins can be found, like "When he steps into the ring he's ready for a fight/His twenty-four inch pythons are loaded up tonight" At one point Hulk even says, and I quote "Oooh...look at that new vein in my tricep"

But you see, the thing is, Hulk eventually admitted to steroid use, and I'm guessing that had a bit more to do with the python-puffing than a few tablets of Vitamin C did. Thus, it's an annoying cop-out, doing steroids on the side to bulk up and then telling kids to gnaw on some Flintstones vitamins if they wanna be like him. I wish he'd be

honest and rap "listen up/girls and boys/we're going to learn/about ster-oids/ plunge the needle/into your flesh/pretty soon/ look at your chest/ you'll be the toughest/ for your age/ and have unexplained bouts/ of uncontrollable rage Chorus: so if you wanna be just like the hulk/do it up, do it up" But no, instead he insults us with "If you want to be a Hulkamaniac/ I can sure tell you how to stay on track / You gotta train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins too/ These are all the things that Maniacs do" (And as a side note, I must point out the obvious--maniacs don't do shit like that! "Ooh I'm takin' Vitamin C and lovin' God, I'm so wild and dangerous")

Hulk's steroid-gobbling might also explain the mood swings evident on the album. At one point he will 'rap' (ahem) "Everybody's talking trash, but he knows that talk is cheap/If you mess with the Hulkster he'll rearrange your teeth", and then mere seconds later the mood has spun around to "If you ever get in trouble and you need a helping hand/Just call on the Hulkster and he will be your friend/He'll stand up for your freedom, he'll stand up for your rights/United you both will stand, together you will fight"

Beyond that, a few lines of odd, bordering-on-psychosis lyrics pop up at strange points in the middle of all the 'yea for america, yea for my biceps' stuff, like "You'll be six feet deep if you touch my girlfriend/You know this homeboy can lose control"

continued on next page