Now Reading: You Idiot #1
     


I was aimlessly walking around Lincoln Nebraska in the thick heat of a 103 degree day, trying to discover what the town had to offer. "Not a whole hell of a lot" was the definite front runner as I strolled down the sidewalks. I stared into a bank window, watching some deal go down in a meeting room. The three suited guys involved in said deal became kind of uncomfortable when they noticed me watching them.

I frowned, gave a thumbs down, and then left them behind to complete their evil deeds. A few blocks up I saw a man struggling on his bike. He seemed to be either blind drunk or a very poor bicyclist. After finally getting firmly on the bike, he started to take off but immediately fell over onto the grass. He was sprawled out onto the ground with his bike on top of him as I ran up. "Hey, you alright there?" I asked to no response as he struggled up and got back on. Huh. He took off again, just as wobbly. This time he made it a full 30 feet or so before wiping out again, landing hard on concrete rather than grass.

I ran up, again asking if he was alright even though now he clearly was not. He was a freaky sight, face purple, fresh blood now dripping down his cracked and haggard face. His nose looked peculiar, and had stitches, like he had just gotten surgery on it.

 


Ah, Lincoln, Nebraska, I thought as I flagged down a yuppie to use a cell phone to call 911. They arrived a few minutes later and began checking the poor guy out. "Sir? Sir, can you hear me? Sir, what happened?"

The guy gazed back at all of us, confused, and spoke his first words "I fell"
"What have you been doing today sir?"
"…Bar…" he managed, falling over again.

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